The Anxiety, Discomfort, and Fear Felt When Spending Money

I do it every time I go into the store, or the moment I get ready to add something to my shopping cart online, I pause to consider all of the worse case scenarios. If you’re anything like me, you have countless regretful, worst-case scenario thoughts after making a leisure purchase. In most cases, it doesn’t even have to be a costly purchase; if past experiences have caused you to develop a sense of worry when spending money, you will worry no matter the cost.

Growing up, my mother did a great job, ensuring we had the best of everything. We always had a nice place to live, nice clothes to wear, the best toys, and attended the best schools. Because of this, money never really was a factor for me growing up. I didn’t worry about living with or without money because my mom always did everything she could to ensure we had the best of everything. I knew that no matter what happened, I’d always be taken care of. Even when things were tough, there was never any inclination that we should worry so, I never once panicked. So when TF did it all shift for me? I wasn’t raised to be overly obsessive when it comes to money but somehow as I get older I picked up the bad habit.

My anxiety and discomfort around overspending developed as an adult. I had my first job when I was 15. I made my first real purchase when I was 17 and since then I’ve relied on family for little or nothing at all when it came to expenses. I became financially responsible at a very young age. The reality is because I was required to be financially responsible at a young age didn’t mean I always made the wisest decisions when it came to my money.

Fast forward to now, I have a much healthier relationship with money than I’ve ever had in the past but I still get very anxious after I make the decision to do something nice for myself. If you’re one of those people who experience a heightened case of anxiety after spending, I’d like to encourage you by sharing a few of my tips that have helped me overcome my fear and discomfort as it relates to spending.

Taking The Time to Get Educated About Money

A lot of my discomfort and fear about money is rooted in a lack of proper education. To speak openly, it wasn’t until a lot of us became adults that we realized we were failed when it came to money management, investments and saving. We aren’t taught it in schools. A lot of us come from family backgrounds that have a long-standing history of being at a disadvantage socioeconomically. Disadvantages come with fears, doubt, uncertainty, lack of knowledge, and mishandling. This doesn’t mean that you’ll forever be at a disadvantage. But it does mean it takes longer to break habits, be more responsible with money, educate yourself and break long-standing generational curses. Monday education starts with:

Learning about the power of saving, investments, properly budging, credit, and more. My best advice is to find an older mentor, someone who is very established financially and doesn’t mind extending advice and a helping hand. Attend classes, seminars and read books. Do not rely solely on social media for financial advice. While there are some great accounts on social media to follow, you want a broader vision of what investments, money, and savings look like. You also want to focus on establishing your own ideas and vision of what a healthy relationship with money looks like. Being too reliant on outside influences can cloud your judgment.

“A lot of my discomfort and fear about money is rooted in lack of proper education. To speak openly, it wasn’t until a lot of us became adults that we realized we were failed when it came to money management, investments and saving.”

Discover Your Pain Point or The Root of Your Spending Fear

There are so many things that influence our relationship with money. For many of us, our pain points are deeply rooted in childhood upbringing and conditioning. When I first accepted that my fear and discomfort with spending money was rooted in my fear of overspending and having nothing, my thought process shifted.

Sometimes all it takes is understanding why you feel what you feel as it relates to spending money and developing ways to overcoming the feelings. Some things that helped me:

• I spoke with a financial advisor a lot.
  It was almost like being in money therapy. It was really helpful for me to connect with an expert and share my fears.

• I stopped fearing the past.
  How do we ever really move forward if we’re always living in fear that the past will reoccur? In order to move forward, you have to stop recycling the same scenarios and fears.

• I got really serious about my financial priorities.
  I can admit, there was a time in my life where my issues with money were due to my lack of prioritizing what is important. You have to decide for yourself what your priorities are when it comes to finances. If you have bills do, it’s best to not shop or go overboard with extracurricular activities if it is not in your budget.

I am no expert in finances and while I am still a work in progress, I’ve learned a lot over the years and found methods that really work for me. For me, spending responsibly isn’t enough, you really have to develop and build a healthy relationship with money. How are you dealing with your anxiety and discomfort around spending money? Drop a comment below.