How I Am Changing My Relationship with Money
I have always heard the tales about your life viewpoints changing at 30, but I always suspected them to be myths. Last year, six months prior to my 30th, I underwent some drastic shifts. I woke up one day and knew it was time to get my shit in order financially. There were changes I wanted to make which required me to be a little more responsible financially. I will be the first to tell you, financial planning is an ongoing process, and bettering your relationship with money will not happen overnight. I have been experiencing and learning firsthand the importance of releasing my worries and concerns around money. Achieving this requires a lot of practicality and discipline.
When it comes to money, I believe we all were educated on what to do to make it, but we were never really taught the necessary skills to keep it. I remember the very first time I accrued debt. I remember what it felt like to make my first big luxury purchase. I also remember the joy I felt working the first full-time job I ever loved and being laid off during the holiday season. I was incredibly unprepared for how to navigate life without a consistent income. Losing my job at the time put me in some incredibly stressful financial situations, and I promise, I still carry some level of PTSD years later.
My First Steps to Bettering My Life with Money
Money is going to be here and it ain’t going away. This was the first thing I had to train myself to understand. It doesn’t always mean I need to be overly stressed about money, but I do need to learn to live with it in a healthy way. My healthy relationship with money began with understanding it will always fluctuate. With its fluctuations, I have to learn to save and spend wisely in case of an emergency. Money comes and goes, but my stresses about spending it or letting it go are blocking more from coming in. The real work was in accepting and having faith that I am always supported financially. This looks like:
Being grateful to payout large expenses such as rent, credit card payments, utilities, etc.
Not having anxiety when I have to spend on large expenses. Instead, be grateful that God has provided me with more than enough to take care of my responsibilities.
Not being afraid to splurge on me when I can. Sometimes, actually every time I buy myself something nice, I have a case of buyer’s remorse. I had to learn to be comfortable with doing nice things for myself. I earned the money, and I deserve to spend it at leisure when I please.
Speaking of deserving! Money and the feelings of deservingness go hand in hand. The more you feel like you don’t deserve to live a financially stable life, the harder it becomes to attain wealth and hold onto it. The reality is, you can’t have a love and hate relationship at the same time. It’s counterproductive. What you want, you have to love and value and know you deserve. Stop saying you want it while living as if you hate it.
What Does Letting Go of Money Fears Look Like? Letting go for me looks like:
Being responsible with my cash flow.
Yes, it’s a lot easier said than done but we save ourselves a lot of stress when we learn to accept that if we don’t have it we shouldn’t spend it. A motto I live by is, “if I can’t afford to buy it twice at that moment, I can’t afford it right now.”
Educating myself about money.
A huge commitment of mine during this shelter in place has been furthering my financial literacy. I’ve been working to understand what it means and looks like to build wealth. Me evaluating what investments are worth the investment has been very beneficial in me bettering my relationship and overall thoughts around money. The knowledge I have gained thus far has helped me to focus on what stability looks like long-term, what I desire to have, and what goals no longer appeal to me.
I now know a bit more about building a financial portfolio and how it benefits me long-term. I’ve also taken homeownership into consideration as well. I am not too sure I want to invest in owning a home. Maybe I want to put that investment toward land or commercial property, who knows. The point is, the more I learn the more I understand I have options. Throughout childhood, we were always taught that attaining wealth is done one way. I have chosen to not always follow what I’ve been taught by learning on my own.
Money Rules I Am Living By Going Forward
Being open to receiving.
The key is openness. When you’re open to receiving, your focus is on gaining not on lack. I don’t worry much about “going without.” You won’t ever hear me utter the words “I am broke” I refuse to speak that type of negativity over my life. I am open to receiving all the money that I desire and deserve. And so, it is!
Asking for what I want.
When interviewing for job opportunities in the past, I was always afraid to say too high of a number when asked about my salary requirements. I did not want to risk NOT being considered for the job, so, I always told recruiters a salary I thought they wanted to hear instead of asking for what I desired and deserved. I didn’t realize how limiting this mindset was for me and how I was holding myself back from achieving my goals. I now have a hard minimum salary that I require when recruiters reach out to me.
The reality is, I suffered from imposter syndrome because I chose to live this way. Once I accepted that I am who I am, and I deserve the things that I ask for, my approach to my career and life overall was different. When I work on freelance projects, I charge the rate that I am worth and nothing less. I have gotten comfortable with the idea that I do not have to take on every opportunity that comes my way. The more I take on, the more desperation becomes a part of my routine and that creates blockages. I deserve what I ask for, and there is nothing to question in that statement.
Spending it to make more.
Investing in myself has done wonders for me financially. It’s the small investments and letting go of my fears of being without that has helped me to attract more. I used to penny-pinch and be afraid to invest in my personal brand, but it was the small investments that turned into ample opportunities. Investing in my website and other materials has helped generate income for me in so many ways. My online portfolio often does the talking before I do. I am proud that I’ve invested my money in places that benefit me financially. And I am always working on ways to invest my money wisely to generate more income. Nothing is too small. Every dollar counts and whether it is $2, $20, or $2k, it’s money that can be reinvested elsewhere. If you’re questioning spending the money to get yourself off the ground business-wise, my answer will always be to go for it! You have to start somewhere. The best way to learn the power of investments is by investing in yourself.
Here are some of my favorite money management accounts to follow on IG:
Ellevest
The Broke Generation