Releasing The Pressure To Perform and Achieve
Usually, my monthly newsletters are reserved for subscribers and subscribers only, but I’d like to try something different this month. I really wanted there to be no exclusivity this month because I felt that we could all use a little encouragement as we welcome in the last month of 2021 and close out the year.
December 2021 is here, and it’s been one hell of a year for us all. In fact, the last two years have served up some of the most emotionally draining, traumatizing, and unforgettable moments. Remaining positive over the previous two years has taken a lot of courage and commitment. Even with a lot of the bad that has occurred, there are so many moments that we all have to celebrate and rejoice in.
“As we inch closer and closer to the end of the year, many will start to feel more and more pressure to perform and announce accomplishments. There is something about the pressure to prove that you were better than who you were before the year started that will make you run yourself ragged.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about what forward progression and growth means to me in this phase of my life. One of the things I’ve been adamant about and am fearlessly holding onto is ensuring that my wants, needs, and desires are of my own. For me, this also includes not allowing my idea of what happiness looks and feels like to be tainted by the world around me.
I once had this weird obsession with perfectionism. It started with work. Everything I created or worked on professionally had to be perfect, or I would go into this space of being overly critical of myself. Not only was this obsession with perfectionism apparent in my work, but it also began to impact my daily life. It wasn’t enough for everything I had and everything that I did to be perfect; my life and I had to appear perfect, even if it was all a lie.
My unhealthy obsession with perfectionism quickly taught me that the more I reminded attached to this false sense of self, the more I would feel the need to perform and remain untrue to who I indeed was. It took me years to break away and free myself from such a harmful, performative way of thinking and being.
As we inch closer and closer to the end of the year, many will start to feel more and more pressure to perform and announce accomplishments. There is something about the pressure to prove that you were better than who you were before the year started that will make you run yourself ragged. Let me be frank, not having any major, life-changing announcements or business ventures by the end of the year doesn't make you any less of a person or mean you're less than the people you feel have achieved more than you.
“The pressure to perform doesn't have to control you. Maybe this season wasn't yours, and there is absolutely nothing to feel bad about; delayed is not mean you've been denied.”
It's essential to keep your eyes on your own path, worry about your own story, and not compare your reality to others. You're going to see a lot of people celebrating newness over the next few weeks. It would help if you resisted the urge to compete or compare. Remember that the last two years have been heavy on us all; simply being present was and still is more than enough. Maybe you didn't cash in on a six-figure deal, get into a new relationship, land that new job, or move into a new place, but does that change who you are? It does not!
Maybe your year was centered around personal growth, healing, forgiveness, and simply learning how to be present; if so, this too is okay!!! Taking care of yourself is not only productive, but it is a full-time job. The pressure to perform doesn't have to control you. Maybe this season wasn't yours, and there is absolutely nothing to feel bad about; delayed is not mean you've been denied.
You will start seeing conversations around planning for the upcoming year or rushing to get shit done before this year wraps up, it’s okay to not subscribe to any of that shit. You are not obligated to have anything more than you have now. You are not required to be anyone other than who you are. You deserve to be your full and whole self and in my opinion, that version of yourself should never include performative behavior.
I want you all to close out this year feeling amazing about who you are and all that you’ve done. Showing up for yourself is enough. Surviving through all the chaos is enough. You are alive and well and regardless of what you feel you haven’t done or achieved YET, you are thriving. I want you all to feel empowered to stand in your truth and embrace all of who you are. Breaking up with the pressure to perform or achieve has nothing to do with settling for less or accepting average. It simply means we are imperfectly embracing the time of our own lives and whatever is right now is what it is going to be.
You will no longer subscribe to the idea that you have to prove to the world you have your shit together, that you matter and are important. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH! This fact requires no approvals or receipts to be pulled, it’s just fact. Wishing you all a calm, relaxed, and stress-free month.
Happy December!