Four Key Pieces of Advice to Help You Embrace Your 30s
At this point in my life, I am far closer to 40 than 30, but I remember my teens and 20s. I remember walking into 30, thinking, I wish I knew all of what I knew now back then. There is something unique and equally crippling and terrifying about growth and transformation. I vividly remember feeling like I wouldn’t make it through 25 and nearly ready to give up at 27 but feeling such hope and optimism at 29. When I turned 30, it felt like stepping into a different portal; everything shifted for the better.
As you stand on the cusp of your 30s, you may find yourself yearning for change, seeking personal growth, and wanting to become more authentically you. This time of transition presents an opportunity for reflection, renewal, and the start of a new chapter. Whether you’re in your 20s or just now embracing the 30 Club, Here are my key pieces of advice to help you navigate this transformative period with grace and strength.
Invest in Your Well-being
The early stages of our lives are often riddled with self-neglect; we do not intentionally deprioritize our well-being, but we’re likely still in the stages of life where we’re learning to say no and practicing not putting the world before ourselves. Take the time to prioritize your physical and mental health. Regularly exercise, develop a balanced diet, and get sufficient sleep. The grown woman change at 30 creeps up on you, and these habits will be critical for you when it comes to maintaining well-being.
The best thing I could have ever done for myself was learning to enjoy the simple things that make me feel at peace and well-nurtured, things like spa dates, manicures and pedicures, cooking myself full-course meals, and investing in quality sleepwear and bedding. All these things significantly impact your well-being, and the more you learn to prioritize them, the better off you’ll be.
Cultivate and Nurture Strong Intentional Relationships
Intentional relationships are a big part of being your best self. The scary thing about building your tribe is that you will likely outgrow the very people you thought would always be a part of your life; this is a natural occurrence and is totally okay. Maintaining solid relationships becomes even more difficult but incredibly important as life gets busier. Surround yourself with positive influences, communicate openly, and make time for the people who matter. Nurture and love on your people. Call or text them when you’re thinking of them. A simple I love you text goes a long way. Surprise them with things you know they’ll love randomly; even when you can’t be physically present with others, it's important to show up in other ways because the tribe you cultivate will be essential for navigating the challenges of your 30s.
Focus On Self-Discovery and Growth
Whenever I am asked for advice by women younger than me, I always advise them to work on themselves before anything else. Prioritizing my healing saved me from myself on so many occasions. Learning how to navigate the world's complexities as the healed version of you will be critical for this new phase of life.
The dawn of your 30s ushers a perfect stage for self-discovery. This chapter in life carries a newfound sense of wisdom and maturity, providing you the momentum to delve deeper into your essence, values, and aspirations. Your 30s are the time when you should be investing in your desired dreams and aspirations, not the version of your life that your parents planned or that society told you was ideal.
Immersing in personal reflection and introspection can lead to valuable insights about your strengths, areas needing attention, and the map of your dreams and goals. In this decade of discovery, you're not just finding your authentic self; you're becoming her. Every revelation, every introspection, every choice is another brushstroke in the masterpiece that is you. Embrace this journey with curiosity and courage. Remember, this journey has no right or wrong path—only your path. So take this time in your 30s as an invitation to wander, explore, and find out who you are at your core.
Financial Planning and Independence
Focus on your money and independence, honey. I started working at 16, not because I wanted to work, but because I loved taking my paycheck every Friday and buying a new Chanel lipgloss or Saint Laurent lipstick. I hated working that young but knew I didn’t want to rely on my parents for anything. Of course, independence and financial planning will look different for us all. And the way this economy is set up, if your environment allows, stay with family for as long as possible. I did! I didn’t move out on my own until I was 28!
My best advice is don’t rely on social media to tell you what life should look or feel like. Buying into trends or trying to keep up with others will keep you stagnant. As early as you can, start planning for your financial future. Whether saving for major life events, investing, or creating a budget, financial stability provides security. Aim for financial independence, which includes having an emergency fund, understanding your investments, and being mindful of your spending habits. Making informed financial decisions in your 30s and even before you turn 30 can set the foundation for a secure future.
Bonus Tip: Don’t Prioritize Men
Girl… I can’t think of anything more wasteful than investing your time into men early in life. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I had found my fairytale ending with a man, only for God to redirect me, and with every redirection, the focal point was always myself. I had gone through enough redirections relationship-wise to the point where I knew that if love ever found me, there was no way I’d give up the happiness and life I’d cultivated by losing myself in my relationship or motherhood.
From a young age, I knew motherhood and marriage were always in the cards for me, but it took me years to realize that it wasn’t what I wanted my existence to be all about. If society promoted independence, strategic decision-making, and autonomy more, there would be more positive views on motherhood and marriage. Many more women would pursue it when and if they absolutely want to, not based on some ticking, make-believe clock. I lived all ten and a half of my previous lives prior to starting a family, and that was vital for me, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.
The goal is to make significant life decisions when YOU are ready and to be so immersed and happy in your life that when you do decide to transition into a new title, such as mother or wife, you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.